Nata Writes | Visual Storyteller

Valentine’s day was just a week ago, and even though it’s just another opportunity for the marketing industry to have us buy stuff we don’t need, or want, it’s also nice to have at least one day of the year dedicated to the celebration of love, and the friendships that make our lives more pleasant. We should celebrate it every day, not just one, but hey, we’re only human, and sometimes life gets tough, the stress creeps in, and we are too busy to be thankful for everything we already have–instead of focusing on what we don’t have.

While I drank my first cup of coffee of the day, I decided to send a few words to all of my friends, and family. I wanted to let them know that I was thinking of them, and I was grateful for their presence in my life. I didn’t give any presents out, because I just didn’t feel like it. Nowadays, I don’t give anything I don’t feel like giving—it doesn’t matter the occasion.

Going back to love: Love is one of the greatest mysteries in life for me. It’s magical, and an amazing and powerful force, and because of that, I honor it. In fact, if I didn’t believe in anything else whatsoever, I would still believe in Love. As corny as it might sound, love is the driving force in my life, and if I don’t love something I don’t dedicate myself to it.

Throughout my life, love has been the topic that keeps me up at night, makes me crazy in wonder, and doesn’t stop surprising me. It intrigues me so much that I keep writing about it, and today while I was jogging, an old song played, which took me back to past loves. It got me thinking of how devoted I was to each of those loves, and the magnitude of my feelings. I remembered how I gave myself, and wanted nothing more than to share my life with them, but due to life, or destiny, it didn’t happen. After much heartbreak, I think I became a bit cynical, and I thought I was above all of it, that perhaps I didn’t need it, or want it. It hadn’t worked out, so maybe it wasn’t for me. But today I’m thankful for all of it, everything that happened to me, and the way it did—I wouldn’t change a thing. All of the heartbreaks and the pain gave me valuable lessons, but God…. How much did it hurt!

Dismantling love, or at least trying to, and analyzing myself at the time of each relationship, I would say that I was certainty a different person. I’m still myself, but I’ve come to the conclusion that every time we grow as a human being, an invisible layer comes off of us, and little by little I became the person I am now. Often times that reward comes from periods of a lot of suffering and deep meditation. Now I understand that every relationship happened at the right time, and with the right person, because now I know that they were some of the key elements leading my path to where I am now. Sometimes though, I can’t help to wonder what would’ve been if it had worked out?

To come back to the initial question of a true love I will tell you something: Since very young I was very invested in my thoughts, and my analysis of love, and that’s when I decided that there was only one “true love”, and then when I actually experimented love, and the loss of it, my theory became very shaky, and almost impossible to hold true. Now that I’m older and I went through so much I wouldn’t dare to call those loves untrue or fake. They were very real. But after a lot of thought, what I realize now is that those loves are completely different to what I’ve become to experience as “true love” (my version of it) between two people.

What changed?

Certainty me, it took years of discovery, and many layers to come off, and that makes a great difference, because I’m a strong believer that the right person will only show up when we’re ready. When we’ve done all of the internal dirty work with ourselves. After all of that, we end up attracting that person to us—I would say that destiny needs to be credit it as well, but in order for everything to align, we have to be ready, if not, nothing will happen. Why would it? It would be a waste for us to meet that person, but miss it, because we’re too buys trying to make other relationships work, or not having a strong enough relationship with our own self.

That person will align entirely with our existence, there are no major conflicts, or struggles—like the ones we had with our past relationships. This one will feel different, as if it were higher than anything we’ve experienced before, and so amazingly big that there would be no way of measuring it.

Sometimes I get very nostalgic about the people I was once with. They were more than a relationship to me, and I sincerely care for them. It’s unfortunate that we can’t have real, and genuine friendships, but I suppose that is too hard to achieve. But, I think about them, and I wish them the very best every time they come to mind. I know those phases in my life are done, and unfortunately, when certain chapters of our lives end, the relationships with certain people end as well, and we have to learn to come to peace with it.

I will leave you with a thought my dad shared with me once about love and relationships:

“Sometimes relationships are only meant to be for a certain period of time. We can’t determine that time tough, and it may last longer than our lifetime.”