This is a question I’ve been exploring for the last decade, and I think I kind of know the answer now. When it comes to meeting people, and having new friends I’m like a cheerleader: super excited and wanting to know everything about them. If they get to a point where I consider them to be my friend, I will offer them all that I can give, which, sometimes is not as good, but that’s just part of who I am.
One of my strongest principles is that everything happens for a reason, nothing is a coincidence. Obviously, our actions will cause a domino effect, either positive or negative, and in those choices our consciousness is involved, but we can discuss that topic later.
People have been in and out of my life, and as painful as some of those exits have been for me, that’s the way it’s meant to be. Why? Well… Some people come into your life for only a period of time to teach you, or for you to teach them, or perhaps for help they can provide to you, or vice versa. But they were never meant to stay indefinitely in you life, like others are. We won’t know this until we get the signals, and that’s why paying attention is key. Some of those departures have been crazy painful for me, and I still miss some of the people that are no longer in my life, but I’ve learn to just let it be, and not force relationships into my life that are not meant to be there, because when I have done that in the past, somehow, everything starts to go downhill.
Here’s another of the principles I live by, and strongly believe in:
There’s an energy that balances everything in the world, as well as in your life. When we disrupt that energy, things don’t go well. Just like it happens in the world, take for example global warming, the drastic changes in climate, and in nature are evident, right? Human beings have disrupted the sacred energy the world has and works by, and in return we’re having natural changes, deaths, extinction of species, among other things. Disrespecting the sacred energy and balance life goes by brings with it an immensity of problems, and we don’t want that in our lives. I believe that the more balance we are, the more we keep progressing in life, therefore, the more we learn, which is what our ultimate goal is.
Another of the things I’ve learned is that we have to be as mindful and considerate to other’s feelings as we wish others to be with ours. Half of the time the problems that appear in our relationships are not intentional, but a lack of consciousness. Therefore, judging people as if they were committing a crime is unfair. This is a big lesson for me, because in the past I judged and committed people pretty harshly.
We need to keep in mind that we are all in different levels of consciousness. Let’s take our mother as an example. She might be in a lower or upper level than you, but for the sake of the example let’s pretend she’s in a lower level of consciousness. It’s always been a struggle for her to understand decisions you’ve made in your life, and up to recently that has caused a lot of pain in your life, but if you could understand that it’s not her fault nor intentional, but it’s a result of her level of consciousness, than it would make a lot more sense, and get some of the pain off of your shoulders caused by thinking she was being mean or unfair.
If we see people through that lens we would take less things personal, and we would be able to be kinder to people who are not in the same level we are, instead of fighting, and revolving around suffering. There’s no point in getting upset, which is where our understanding and patience comes in handy, because it’s part of their journey, and maybe that is exactly the reason why they are in your life; for you to teach them valuable lessons that they have not yet learnt. Sometimes the opposite will happen; we are not able to understand certain situations, because our level of consciousness is not as open or advanced as the other person, but we get to learn from them. That’s part of the beauty of life, it’s a big cycle where everything is useful, and not one person is more important than other.
When we see life like that, everything starts to make more sense, and a veil falls off our eyes letting us see everything clearer. We get out of the vicious cycle of being the victims of our destinies. We become more receptive to life, and our learning expands. The point of this is not to lose touch with life or feelings—that’s what makes us humans—but in the contrary to be more vulnerable. Vulnerability brings on emotions, and pain is just another one of them. But I’ve learn not to resist pain, and just feel it, enjoy it, because the more we resist something, the more it appears, the remedy is to feel it, and let it be. Learn from it, but don’t dwell on it.
I want to end the topic of suffering and relationships with this:
If one particular person is causing an endless amount of suffering in your life, deep down you know you can end it at any time, it only depends on you, therefore, you are choosing to have that suffering in your life, or not.
Going back to being mindful and understanding of other people’s feelings, we should keep in mind that too much is too much, and with people that take advantage of this attitude to do you wrong, or at least not right, is unacceptable. This is another big lesson for me, which I’m still learning. It’s a very thin line, and sometimes it’s hard to draw it. In the quest of figuring out if the intentions of others are genuine, fair, or not, I sometimes end up wasting my time on people that don’t deserve to stay in my life, or at least not with the blind trust I have on them.
There will always be situations coming up where you will be able to see the truth, and know with clarity what to do. Let’s take a friend as an example. A situation occurred where they didn’t act right, you noticed, tried to understand him/her and not judge, but after talking to them about it, and expressing how that particular situation hurt you, you get to see how that person acts in return, but this time with the knowledge of how it affected you. If this person acts with love and kindness, how awesome, you got yourself an awesome friend who cares more about your well-being, and your friendship than his or her ego, but if the opposite occurs, then you will also be able to see it—as painful as it might be. Because, think about it, we’re not perfect, we all make mistakes, and we all hurt people we love sometimes, we’re just learning how to navigate this life and mistakes will happen, but with what integrity we act upon those mistakes? Especially if another person is involved is very important, and says a lot about yourself and character.
Xoxo,
Nata
Nata Writes | Visual Storyteller 